How to Serve Your Husband
Accepting Christ as your Lord and Savior changes your entire life. Literally, every aspect of it, including your marriage and how you approach dating. As a Christian, every single one of us, male and female, are called to serve. We are first called to serve God. And if you’re serving God, you are called to serve others, including your husband. Today, we’re going to talk about how to serve your husband and develop a servant’s heart.
We are to cultivate a servant spirit, no matter our marital status. Even Jesus, our wonderful King, had a servant spirit.
This heart attitude of serving starts at home with your family. In particular, if you’re married, with your husband. Genesis 2:18 above tells us that God designed the wife to be her husband’s helper.
A helper is someone who shares responsibilities, works together toward the plan of God, and responds with love and understanding. You and your husband should be a team. There should be no competition, and, as a godly wife, you should be supportive of your husband and stand behind him.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t have a moment to shine. But in light of our serving hearts, we should always want to promote others instead of ourselves. And trust that your spouse is doing the same for you. He too should be serving you as his wife, just as God has called him to do (Ephesians 5:21,25-33).
What does a serving heart look like?
‘For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. ‘Mark 10:43-45, NLT
Jesus valued servitude, so much that it was the core of Christ’s being, to serve us rather than be served by us. But what does a serving heart look like? How do you develop a heart that desires to serve your husband and others around you? In order for you to learn how to serve your husband and others, there are three things that are essential:
‘Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. ‘Romans 12:3, NLT
To learn how to serve others, we must first be humble. Be honest with yourself when it comes to your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t try to buff yourself up to others as if you’re so perfect. This can be very destructive to not only you, but to those in the church. At the same time, we can also be destructive to ourselves if we take the opposite approach and see ourselves from a very low perspective.
We each have been gifted with a spiritual gift that contributes to the success of the church. You need other Believers, and they need you. Humility is making an assessment of your strengths and gifts, and acknowledging where those gifts came from – God.
Even Jesus, equal to God the Father, did not think of himself as equal to God, but gave up his divine privileges and took the humble position of a servant (Philippians 2:5-8).
‘Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges ; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.’Philippians 2:5-8, NLT
Jesus sacrificed his own divine privileges and comfort, and instead, dedicated himself to a life of servitude, even to the point of death, for you and me.
Sacrifice isn’t always so drastic. Placing someone else’s needs above our own can include sacrificing our time, our pride, or even something of value. As I am preparing to be a mother, I am also preparing my heart to sacrifice. I have to put my child’s needs first before my own. It’s a good thing I’ve had almost six years of practice with my husband!
‘And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.’Philippians 4:19, NLT
Remember early on in this post when I said you should be able to trust that your husband will serve you in return? That is what faith looks like!
God doesn’t ask us to make sacrifices so we can suffer. While serving God and others may require setting aside our need for recognition and reward, it doesn’t require us to be forgotten and pushed aside. By serving God and others, we are putting our faith in God that He is also serving and taking care of us!
How do I serve my husband?
So how does a wife develop a heart that is committed to helping her husband? Consider these three things:
1. Make a commitment to help him
‘And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God.’Hebrews 13:16, NLT
Decide on becoming his helper and following God’s plan to help your husband. Once you decide to make that commitment, stick to it. Cover yourself with prayer, asking God to help you seek service toward your spouse and how you can best serve him. Also ask God to reveal to you anything that you may need to change that may keep you from developing your heart to serve.
2. Focus on your spouse
‘Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.’1 Corinthians 10:24, NLT
Cast yourself and your flesh aside and focus on your husband’s goals and needs. I know this is a struggle for many (including myself, especially since I was an only child growing up). We naturally want to say “What about me?!” But God wants us to put our spouse first before ourselves.
3. Ask yourself “Will this help or hinder my husband?”
‘For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. ‘Galatians 5:13, NLT
If your heart is committed to service, you have the power to help your husband accomplish his goals and desires, as you are a team together. He needs you.
Lets look at women in the Bible and whether they helped or hindered their spouses:
In Genesis 3, we read how Adam and Eve sinned. But more specifically, we see how Eve was tempted and sinned first, then offered the forbidden fruit to her husband. Did she help or hinder Adam?
Another example in the Bible is Sarah, Abraham’s wife:
‘Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “The Lord has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal. So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife. (This happened ten years after Abram had settled in the land of Canaan.)’Genesis 16:1-3, NLT
Did Sarah help or hinder her husband?
Both examples would be a no. But one example of a wife in the Bible helping, rather than hindering, her husband is Priscilla, a woman who comes alongside her husband to preach the Gospel.
When Priscilla and Aquila heard him preaching boldly in the synagogue, they took him aside and explained the way of God even more accurately.Acts of the Apostles 18:26, NLT
Serving glorifies God
Serving is a simple, but highly valuable assignment in God’s Kingdom. It benefits not only those we are serving, but ourselves as well, as we learn to serve as Christ did. Being a servant is a sign of maturity in your faith. As we serve our husband and others, we glorify God even more.